I met Victoria in Riara. We were not the closest or the best of friends but she still left her mark in her life.
When I first met her my first thought was “ Wow, she’s so cool”. She was quite literally perfect. In my morphing brain I thought that there is no way someone that cool is nice. Someone who seemed as though they were sculpted and moulded to perfection both internally and externally could not possibly be nice in addition. She was even nicer than I thought. Class 5 is what really cemented this for me.
In Class 5 Victoria was our class prefect or monitor (I can’t remember what we called them) In my head I paled in comparison to Victoria. Class 5 I had begun spiralling. I had started experiencing big emotions that I could barely contain in my tiny body. I didn’t know how to voice this so I acted out in ways like shaving my entire head bald. On the days that were especially bad I would go to the washrooms and cry until I felt as though I had reigned the big emotions back in. But Victoria saw me when I couldn’t see myself. She saw the tears I held back and hugged me during the tough days. She could tell when I had just come from crying and she would just come and simply hang out. The days when I didn’t cry but my shoulders sagged a bit more she would try get me to laugh with her. She saw me when I didn’t even know what I needed or wanted. And we were in Class 5. She understood why I didn’t want to play, why I cried, why I stayed in class instead of going outside. Whether she realized it or not, she saved me from constantly wallowing in pain I couldn’t even comprehend. I transferred in Class 6 but I never forgot Victoria.
There are days I reminisced and I thought about her, wondered where she was and hoped she was doing good.
Victoria,
Hi it’s Thandi. I don’t know if you remember me but I never forgot you. You showed me kindness at one of the lowest points of my life. You saw me at a time when I was so confused I couldn’t see myself.
I regret losing contact with you but I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me again.
I wish all those times I stumbled upon your instagram page I would have said hi and asked how you were doing.
I wish I could have gotten the chance to see you the way you saw me.
You seeing what I was going through and what I was struggling to be was such a relief. The beauty of being seen is undervalued and I wish I could have gotten the chance to return the favour and see you the way you saw me. Hug you the way you hugged me when I was trying to hide my red eyes. Make you laugh the way you made me laugh when I didn’t know how to tell you I was scared of everything I was feeling.
You were an angel to me and so many people as evidenced by this page.
I will continuously pray that your soul finds peace. You deserve that and so much more because you brought peace to so many of us including myself.
You were an angel who was sent on earth to bless us with your presence and now the Lord has called you back home to rest. I will always be grateful to you. I will never forget the beautiful human being that you were. Rest In Peace Victoria💗
- Thandi Nyambura